The Difficult Colleague: How Changing Your Interpretation Changes Your Reaction In this article series, I explore how Relationship Friction and Relationship Wisdom shape career satisfaction and progression through apparently innocuous, yet critical, workplace moments. And yet, I seem to be developing a habit of departing from that original plan đ€ The first departure had me […]
Read MoreFlight as Relationship Wisdom, not cowardice: in praise of avoidance. Â When I was 16, philosophy entered my life to feed a hunger I didnât even know I had: I wanted meaning. Often confused, I also wanted advice: not my parentsâ, biased, nor my friendsâ, just as clueless as I. I appreciated philosophyâs variety of […]
Read MoreWhen crisis hits at work, reach for your purple crayon đïžđ Are you in crisis right now? If not, have you ever experienced one and can you remember it? In the book Harold and the Purple Crayon*, a boy escapes catastrophe thanks to a magic crayon. In the grip of calamity, do you wish you […]
Read MoreâMy manager is toxic. Can you really help?â I hear this far too often from prospective clients. Donât despair: Relationship Wisdom can help even with toxic people đ€ When it comes to toxic people, very little helps. Thatâs true. But itâs not nothing. I had three toxic managers over the course of my 24-year career. […]
Read MoreWhen You Delegate a Task as a First Time Manager, No Less Than the Future of Your Entire Team Is at Stake Last month, we looked at a defining moment in the career of a Direct Contributor: the moment when a manager entrusts them with a task or project. For the employee receiving the […]
Read MoreYou are being let down by a ghost đ» Not by your manager. Or your colleague. Or your team member. Rather: you are being let down by the version of people that exists ONLY  in your head. When I was in Australia recently, everyone called us âyou guys.â Waiters, guides⊠everyone. At first I found […]
Read MoreNo Less Than the Rest of Your Career Is at Stake When Your Manager Entrusts You with a New Project In previous articles, we explored two ideas that sit at the heart of how careers really unfold: Relationship Friction and Relationship Wisdom. The first describes those subtle interpersonal tensions that quietly erode trust, confidence, and […]
Read MoreRelationship Wisdom: The Antidote that Transforms Relationship Friction into Career Momentum There’s a particular kind of professional exhaustion that has nothing to do with workload. It shows up as dread before certain meetings, the weight of unresolved tensions, or that persistent sense that you’re working twice as hard for half the recognition. You deliver excellent […]
Read MoreYou think apologizing will make it better? Think again! Just recently, a client asked me to review an email to their manager. Two phrases stood out: âI hope you wonât think me forward.â And: âI trust this email wonât anger you.â At first glance? Respectful and even empathic. In reality⊠Those two sentences would damage […]
Read MoreRelationship Friction: The Hidden Force That Breaks Careers âRelationship Frictionâ (RF) is one of those concepts people recognize immediately when it is named yet struggle to describe while they are living inside it. Among other things, it shows up as tension in meetings, second-guessing after conversations, resentment that quietly accumulates, or a persistent sense that […]
Read MoreFinally understand why your conversations with Millennials hit a wall. I often coach managers who struggle with their Gen Y / Millennial team members. This classic case of Relationship Friction seems a near-universal pain point in professional life right now. It’s exhausting for everyone. My diagnostic: my clientsâs professional whys do not align with their […]
Read MoreHarnessing your anger can help you access your Relationship Wisdom. Anger has a bad rap which I think is underserved. While there is obviously much truth to Ryan Holiday’s statement that thereâs âno one stupider than an angry personâ, I wish to tell you about how to use anger to combat Relationship Friction. In last […]
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