What does Relationship Friction actually cost me?
More than you might think — and the costs compound over time.
The obvious one is the promotion that doesn’t come. But before that, there is the quieter erosion: your career stalling, your productivity dipping, your results dropping, your reputation suffering.
If you manage a team, you may also start losing talented people as performance dips around you.
Then it gets personal. Your confidence erodes. You start bringing your work problems home — because that is the only place where you can safely vent. Your stress levels rise. Your sleep suffers. The people closest to you start to feel it too.
Relationship Friction doesn’t stay at the office. Left unaddressed, it costs you a salary increase, a promotion, your sense of control — and eventually a significant portion of your quality of life.
The good news: it is entirely addressable. That is precisely what we work on together.
Will coaching fix my problems?
That depends on what you mean by ‘fix’. If you are dealing with a specific relationship at work that is damaging your reputation or stalling your career, then yes — we will work on it directly and you will leave with new ways of handling it.
But the more important outcome is that you stop needing fixing. The goal is for you to build the relational skills to navigate difficulty confidently, so that the next difficult colleague, the next political situation, the next manager who doesn’t see your value — you handle it. Without me.
Coaching is also not only for people in trouble. Many of my clients come because they are already performing well and want to go further. Relationship Wisdom is what takes a strong performer to the next level.
What kind of people benefit most from working with you?
The people I work with are strong performers who sense that something relational is getting in their way — a difficult colleague, a manager who doesn’t see their value, a political dynamic they can’t quite crack.
They are not struggling with operational performance.
They are struggling with the human part of the job.
They tend to share a few traits.
They are open-minded — genuinely curious about how they might be contributing to the relational challenge they are labouring under.
They are also willing to consider a perspective they hadn’t thought of beforehand.
They are courageous — when something matters, they are prepared to try a new behaviour even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
And they take responsibility — they want to understand their part in what’s happening and do something about it.
If you recognise yourself in that description, we will work well together.
I’ve heard they are different kinds of coaching: can you tell me about your approach?
My approach is grounded in proven psychological disciplines: positive psychology, behavioural and cognitive behavioural theories, solution-focused and person-centred coaching. These are frameworks I personally use to make sense of the world, and they are genuinely reflective of how I see people and what gets in their way.
I also draw on Stoic and existentialist philosophy, which many clients find unexpectedly useful when it comes to understanding how they shape their own reality — and therefore how they can transform it.
From this broad toolkit, I built what I call the Relationship Friction-Relationship Wisdom framework which will enable you to read people accurately, influence with ease, and position yourself deliberately.
I will adapt my approach to suit you. If I think a particular model is relevant, I will explain it and its relevance before we use it — and we will only leverage those approaches which resonate with you.
How is coaching different from therapy/counselling?
Coaching is present- and future-focused: we work on where you are now and where you want to get to. Therapy typically looks back, exploring how the past shaped you.
Coaching is also skill-focused. The goal is to develop capabilities you have not yet fully mobilised — emotional, behavioural, relational. That means our work will involve action: trying new approaches, debriefing what happened, refining and iterating.
In my case, the specific skill set we build is your Relationship Wisdom — your ability to navigate the relationships that shape your career. That is a concrete, learnable capability.
If at any point I feel that you would be better served by therapeutic support, I will say so and can help you find the right person.
What should I expect to get out of working with you — and how will I know it’s working?
You will come away with a sharper understanding of how you show up and are perceived, and with new ways of navigating the relationships that have been getting in your way.
More specifically: you will become better at reading people accurately, influencing with ease, and positioning yourself deliberately. Difficult colleagues become manageable. Political situations become navigable. Your impact and visibility increase — and so does your confidence.
The shift is gradual. You will feel yourself progressing — in how you handle situations, in how others respond to you, in how you see yourself at work. That sense of progression typically decreases the level of stress associated to the frustration you feel about that difficult relationship.
My clients report measurable and lasting results. They become better at engaging with others, collaborating more effectively and influencing more powerfully.
As Olivier, a Law Firm Partner, put it: “I have learnt so much. I feel resourced for the future. Working with Alexandra renewed my ambition. I am now more daring and I am raising the bar.”
What happens during our first meeting?
Our first conversation is a complimentary Career Momentum Assessment. It is a focused conversation about the three sets of relationships that are shaping your career right now — your team, your peers, and the senior people around you. You will leave with a clearer picture of where you stand.
It is also an opportunity for us to get to know one another and see how we feel together. It is as important that you feel comfortable with me as it is that I feel able to work well with you. Please feel free to ask anything that is on your mind.
There is no obligation to go further. If the conversation serves you and you decide you would like to explore working together, we will discuss what a programme tailored to your situation might look like.
What are my options if I decide to work with you?
I offer two coaching journeys.
- The Signature System is a 12-month journey — structured yet tailored to your schedule and rhythm. You will dig deep, fully understanding your relational patterns and learning to pivot to behaviour that is both more effective and more authentic. You will also discover how to read the room — deciphering others’ behavioural clues so you can astutely adjust how you show up. Close guidance, deeper psychological insight, optional psychometric assessment.
- The Momentum Package is seven 90-minute sessions over 12 weeks — one session per stage of the methodology, delivering your outcome at an accelerated pace. For those who want to access new behaviours quickly and see change manifest rapidly. The F1 option.
After your Career Momentum Assessment, if you’d like to explore a collaboration, we will discuss which format best suits your situation. We will also start exploring your objectives.
Both can be followed by a Thinking Partnership — a monthly session to maintain your relationship edge, continue to learn and grow, and prepare for whatever comes next. Available as a three-month or annual package.
For those who need a taster before they commit, I occasionally offer a Flash Session — a single 90-minute conversation, full attention, no build-up. Just what matters now.
What happens if I decide to work with you?
We will start by agreeing your objectives — what you want to be different, and how we will know when it is. Objectives are not always easy to articulate at the outset; our early work together may be to sharpen them. They can also evolve as our work progresses and new things come to light.
Our sessions follow a seven-stage methodology — Unpack, Illuminate, Make Sense, Take Responsibility, Imagine, Execute, Open Up — which provides the arc of your journey from Relationship Friction to Relationship Wisdom.
Within each conversation, we might make sense of a complex situation or a challenging relationship, connect you more deeply to your aspirations, develop strategies that play to your strengths, or work through a specific interaction you want to handle differently.
I draw on a broad range of disciplines — psychology, neuroscience, Stoic and existentialist philosophy, mindfulness and others. You take what resonates and leave the rest.
We will agree the format and pace that suits your schedule and circumstances. Our work together doesn’t stop between sessions — I am available to you in-flow, via email, WhatsApp or Signal, to trade ideas, review a document or think something through when you need it.
Do you guarantee confidentiality?
Absolutely! I will not release any information about any aspect of our work together save to my supervisor.
I will seek your consent in writing before using any of your information for case studies as part of my continuing coaching education.
At any rate, I disguise clients’ identities so that they cannot be recognised by others.
By law, I am however required to release information in the event that I consider you a potential danger to yourself or to others: in that unlikely event, I would have to alert the relevant authorities but I would only release essential information to assist the authorities in supporting you.
What about if it’s not working out for me?
If it’s not working for you, tell me — the sooner the better — so we can identify what is not working for you and make the necessary adjustment(s).
We can of course stop and I will reimburse fully for any unused sessions. I may also refer you to someone else.
If you have a question which does not feature above, just contact me at alexandra@coachingforinspiration.com and I will quickly respond.