The biggest mistake professionals make is confusing office politics with political behaviour
In this article series, I explore how Relationship Friction (RF) and Relationship Wisdom (RW) shape career satisfaction and progression through apparently innocuous, yet critical, workplace moments.
Last month, we sidestepped to delve into recognisable signs that RF is slowly wreaking your career.
As announced, I intended to resume looking at a specific career moment at a given career stage.
But then I had a conversation.
“So you mean this is really about office politics?”
Light-bulb moment 💡
All my coaching conversations
All my LinkedIn posts
All of my longer articles
address office politics.
Before you recoil and stop reading, let me remind you that office politics is simply the interpersonal dimension of organisational life.
Navigate it poorly and your career will take in water.
If you agree with me that office politics is indeed simply the interpersonal dimension of organisational life, then let me invite you into a farmland metaphor rather than a marine one.
Office politics is a terrain. It’s the soil.
It needs tending. Otherwise, nothing will blossom, flourish, grow.
Neglect it, and the weeds and pests soon move in.
The soil turns into tired, hard dirt.
How to tend that soil of office politics?
Option 1: become a political animal
Option 2: become relationally savvy.
(Option 3: avoid it altogether but I think we all know you do so at your peril and probably not lastingly).
If you hate the idea of being political but wish you did in fact navigate office politics better, read on.
Discover that this infested land of office politics can be tended authentically and produce a great yield.
What you never thought of as office politics
The trouble with office politics is that it often doesn’t look like office politics at all.
Someone tells a joke that isn’t really funny.
But you laugh anyway.
You look like a good sport.
In fact, you hope the joker noticed.
You signal agreeableness, perhaps even allegiance.
Isn’t that office politics?
Loyalty dressed as humour.
You send an email and copy three people who don’t really need to know.
You tell yourself it’s about keeping everyone informed – better safe than sorry.
You are just being thorough.
In fact, you are ensuring you are being seen.
You signal diligence, competence, commitment to the right people.
You kill two birds with one stone.
Isn’t that office politics?
Visibility dressed as information.
You just worked out next year’s budget for your team.
All the managers are doing it: numbers forecasting.
Reams of Excel spreadsheets.
But money’s tight so this is a competition.
Not everyone will win.
What starts with Excel macros quickly turns into one of the most relational exercises of the entire organisational calendar.
Brace yourselves for the bad word: it’s a lobbying game.
You don’t call it ‘lobbying’ of course: you call it ‘speaking to my manager about next year’s budget’.
But you lobby them: you advocate for your team and your budget number.
You also speak to other stakeholders – in the hope that they will lean on your manager.
Isn’t that office politics?
Lobbying dressed as forecasting.
A laugh, a cc line, a spreadsheet.
The ordinary texture of organisational life — where attention, visibility and money are all finite.
Workplaces inherently generate competing priorities.
Financial constraints.
Opposing objectives.
Just people getting in the way of each other as they strive for what they need and aspire to.
In a nutshell: office politics.
I should know because I was at the coal face for 24 years.
“The business prevention unit” is what my teams were often called.
“The people who ensure the bank stays afloat” was my label.
Just a difference of perspective 😉
But that’s the game I had to play.
I influenced, I built alliances, I fostered understanding, I made us visible.
I won accolades.
(I also regularly tripped).
What is your relationship to office politics?
Did you recognise yourself or colleagues in the laugh, the cc line, the spreadsheet?
By now, I trust you are at least considering my definition of office politics:
the interpersonal dimension of organisational life.
And yet you may still be thinking:
“Fine.
I still hate office politics.”
Fair enough.
Few workplace topics trigger as much recoil.
The phrase itself carries decades of baggage.
No wonder so many professionals want nothing to do with it.
Let me ask you a question:
Have you considered that your aversion to office politics might not be about office politics at all?
Actually two:
If office politics is simply the relational dimension of organisational life, and if it is everywhere, in every laugh and every spreadsheet, then what exactly are you so uncomfortable with?
OMG, a third question:
Might you instead be struggling with the relational demands of organisational life?
Let me rephrase: Might the challenge in fact be that your results sadly do not speak for themselves or that your Excel spreadsheet cannot discuss your budget needs on its own?
As you strive to get your job done today and earn the recognition you aspire to tomorrow, is it the relational effort that’s really the hard part?
Let me invite you to pause and reread what preceded.
A lot of my clients find it worthwhile to chew on.
Ready to continue?
You need other people to thrive in the office and to advance your career.
You need at least some people, the right people, to notice you, trust you and advocate for you.
Otherwise, your efforts will count for nothing… Or at least not enough.
That’s the relational dimension of your organisational life.
So when you say “I hate office politics”, are you saying
“I hate that I have to do more than just my work”?
Or “I hate that I have to do something I am not naturally good at”?
Or “I hate that I have to behave in a way which feels insincere”?
When you say “I refuse to play games.”
Or “I am not that arrogant”
Or “Self-marketing is sleazy“
Or “If you are truly talented, people will find you.” (poetic that one)
Or “Blowing your own horn is just bragging.” (my personal favourite, used it a lot)
When you are saying any of the above or words to that effect, are you in fact saying
I find the relational side of work difficult, and I have been calling that difficulty a principle.
So where next?
Some force themselves, they play the game, on and off, good plays and bad plays.
Some recoil and avoid. They withdraw altogether and hope for the best.
The irony is that relationships continue to shape your career outcomes whether you engage with them or not.
If you don’t engage, you lose out: ignoring office politics does not make them disappear.
If you engage poorly, as I did, then you know the pain of getting it wrong when you tried hard.
And the cost.
Opportunities are missed.
Misunderstandings multiply.
Relationship Friction takes root (definitely going for farmland).
I never enjoyed office politics, but I found it exhilarating to get better at it.
When I could, I found it thrilling to navigate it on my own terms.
After tanking one too many times, it finally dawned on me that organisational life is relational.
Ready for the big reveal?
Prosecuting political behaviour
Political behaviour would not be so widespread if it didn’t work.
You laughed to strengthen a connection to the joker.
That’s ingratiation.
The benefits are real.
You may gain access.
Protection.
Perhaps even opportunities.
You cc’ed three senior managers to ensure you are visible to them
That’s upward impression management.
The benefits are real.
Recognition increases.
Your work becomes more visible.
Your reputation grows.
You lobbied your manager and key stakeholders to get your budget approved.
That’s resource hoarding.
The benefits are real.
Your initiative receives funding.
Your team wins out.
Your priorities move forward.
Political behaviour gets people
noticed.
access.
opportunities.
promoted.
The cost arrives later.
If you laugh every time, people don’t know what you genuinely find funny.
They don’t know where you genuinely stand. Maybe you don’t anymore either.
If you cc everyone every time, people don’t know who your emails are really intended for.
They risk stopping reading your emails altogether. That could hurt your credibility after a while.
If you only push your own budget agenda every time, people who were not funded will remember.
Alliances form. Territory emerges. Relationships become transactional rather than trust-based.
The victories are real.
The bill arrives later.
If the costs of political behaviour arrived immediately, nobody would do it.
Some happily pay up. It’s worth it. Or it sits well with them.
This article is for those who find the price too high.
Political behaviour damages workplace relationships.
It creates Relationship Friction.
Some thrive in the scramble.
If you are tired of competing for every inch of ground, there is another path.
Success without the invoice
Relationship Wisdom gets you the same benefits as political behaviour.
Visibility.
Influence.
Impact.
Access.
Support.
Recognition.
Career momentum.
Choose Relationship Wisdom if you view the costs of political behaviour as too high.
Choose Relationship Wisdom if political behaviour clashes with your values, principles or ethics.
Relationship Wisdom also comes with a price tag.
It typically requires more investment upfront.
More thought.
More patience.
More curiosity.
More conversations.
More skill.
Political behaviour can be a shortcut.
Relationship Wisdom is the road less travelled.
When someone important tells a joke you don’t find funny
You just smile kindly – and mean it.
Relationship Wisdom is not an argument for discourtesy.
You explore ways of engaging with them.
Perhaps you might work on something with or for them.
You could even consider asking them to mentor you.
Find a way to build that relationship.
When you wish to be visible to the powers-that-be
Copy them on emails selectively – for the right reasons.
Relationship Wisdom is not an argument for obscurity.
You meet with them to update them appropriately.
You pick your moment and you adapt your communication style to each one.
Exercise judgement to position yourself differently.
Find a way to build those relationships.
When you need funding for an initiative you deeply believe in
Socialise it broadly – and genuinely listen to what comes back.
Get your peers onboard as well as your manager and senior stakeholders.
Relationship Wisdom is not an argument for timidity.
Connect your project to others and look for possible synergies.
Look for common ground and overlapping interests.
Flip some of your opponents and win over the hearts and minds of the bystanders.
Find a way to build that community.
As you see, the upfront investment will be greater.
The payoff is that relational dividend you will receive.
Political behaviour and Relationship Wisdom address the same challenges.
The results look similar. Neither comes cheap.
The mechanism differs: expediency versus skill.
Before I knew better, I was impressed by the politically savvy.
They seemed incredibly effective.
I emulated them and I was effective too.
But it wasn’t sustainable.
I burnt bridges I had never meant to set afire.
My reputation increasingly diverged from whom I knew myself to be.
I pivoted to improving the quality of my workplace relationships.
To me, that was more real.
It also felt more stable frankly.
I remained driven and ambitious.
But I nurtured instead of spoiling for a fight.
If you’d like to explore Relationship Wisdom in depth, I’ve written about it elsewhere.
How Relationship Wisdom Fuels Your Career Progress
How to distinguish the politically savvy from the relationally savvy
That’s where I started.
I looked around and observed my colleagues.
Eventually, I spotted the sycophants which is my label for those who are politically savvy.
I found the diplomats which is what I call those I deemed relationally savvy.
Telling them apart was hard work.
At first glance, they look really quite similar.
Both types are influential. Visible. Connected. Plugged in.
Both types come across as comfortable navigating organisational life.
The politically savvy professional wants advantage.
The relationally savvy professional wants rapport.
Those can look identical for months.
Until a disagreement arises.
Then the distinction becomes obvious.
Only rapport will survive disagreement.
The politically savvy remembers who can help them.
The relationally savvy remembers people.
Subtle difference. Very different vibe.
The politically savvy scans the room and calculates.
The relationally savvy reads the room and connects.
Hard to tell the difference from a distance. Always needed to look closer.
My politically savvy colleagues managed me during our conversations.
My relationally savvy colleagues instead seemed genuinely interested when we spoke.
I discovered that I could be intellectually stimulated by both types.
Both types could be interesting and collaborative.
I could respect both types.
I only liked one type.
And when the going got rough, I had only one type’s back. And they had mine.
It often got very rough in investment banking in the 1990s.
Before you book a coaching session, look around.
Study your colleagues and identify the relationally savvy ones.
Emulate them. Let them inspire you to your own Relationship Wisdom.
Learn on the job.
And be wary of the politically savvy ones. Their relationships are fundamentally contingent.
Choosing to engage with office politics doesn’t mean you have to become a sycophant.
Far from it: you can then make the second choice to walk the diplomat’s path.
You have plenty of study material right in front of your nose.
Office politics is not political behaviour
This confusion prevents many ambitious professionals from participating fully in organisational life for fear of appearing political.
Hopefully, this article has encouraged you to take a fresh look at office politics.
Not as something distasteful that happens around you.
Not as political behaviour.
Simply as the relational dimension of organisational life.
Office politics is the terrain where workplace relationships happen.
As such, it is everywhere: a laugh, an email or a budget forecast.
Political behaviour is one way of operating on that terrain.
Relationship Wisdom is the other way.
Left untended, the terrain becomes overrun by weeds: that is Relationship Friction.
Relationship Wisdom is your weed hacker.
It roots out Relationship Friction.
It is also the fertilizer to cultivate relationships in the office.
Tend the terrain and relationships blossom.
Your career flourishes.
Not because you are political.
Because you are relationally savvy.
Relational savvy – which comes from building out Relationship Wisdom – can be learned.
That insight was one of the best things I ever stumbled upon.
I wanted to share it with you.
If something in this article resonated with you, feel free to get in touch.
If this article prompted you to reflect on the politics in your office, I offer a complimentary Office Politics Audit, a five-question self-assessment so you don’t even need to talk to me 😉 You will be able to identify whether office politics is currently limiting your visibility, influence or advancement.
To explore how Relationship Wisdom can transform your career trajectory, feel free to get in touch.