When You Delegate a Task as a First Time Manager, No Less Than the Future of Your Entire Team Is at Stake Last month, we looked at a defining moment in the career of a Direct Contributor: the moment when a manager entrusts them with a task or project. For the employee receiving the […]
Read MoreYou are being let down by a ghost đ» Not by your manager. Or your colleague. Or your team member. Rather: you are being let down by the version of people that exists ONLY  in your head. When I was in Australia recently, everyone called us âyou guys.â Waiters, guides⊠everyone. At first I found […]
Read MoreNo Less Than the Rest of Your Career Is at Stake When Your Manager Entrusts You with a New Project In previous articles, we explored two ideas that sit at the heart of how careers really unfold: Relationship Friction and Relationship Wisdom. The first describes those subtle interpersonal tensions that quietly erode trust, confidence, and […]
Read MoreRelationship Wisdom: The Antidote that Transforms Relationship Friction into Career Momentum There’s a particular kind of professional exhaustion that has nothing to do with workload. It shows up as dread before certain meetings, the weight of unresolved tensions, or that persistent sense that you’re working twice as hard for half the recognition. You deliver excellent […]
Read MoreYou think apologizing will make it better? Think again! Just recently, a client asked me to review an email to their manager. Two phrases stood out: âI hope you wonât think me forward.â And: âI trust this email wonât anger you.â At first glance? Respectful and even empathic. In reality⊠Those two sentences would damage […]
Read MoreRelationship Friction: The Hidden Force That Breaks Careers âRelationship Frictionâ (RF) is one of those concepts people recognize immediately when it is named yet struggle to describe while they are living inside it. Among other things, it shows up as tension in meetings, second-guessing after conversations, resentment that quietly accumulates, or a persistent sense that […]
Read MoreFinally understand why your conversations with Millennials hit a wall. I often coach managers who struggle with their Gen Y / Millennial team members. This classic case of Relationship Friction seems a near-universal pain point in professional life right now. It’s exhausting for everyone. My diagnostic: my clientsâs professional whys do not align with their […]
Read MoreHarnessing your anger can help you access your Relationship Wisdom. Anger has a bad rap which I think is underserved. While there is obviously much truth to Ryan Holiday’s statement that thereâs âno one stupider than an angry personâ, I wish to tell you about how to use anger to combat Relationship Friction. In last […]
Read MoreBeat Relationship Friction by making up a reason not to disengage. When Relationship Friction bites, we typically have one of two immediate, instinctive reactions: Anger or withdrawal. This post focuses on withdrawalâthat paralyzing feeling, the instinct to run, to disengage. For example, When an important conversation doesnât work out, you freeze and become mute. When […]
Read MoreRelationship Wisdom isnât as difficult as you think it is. Here is a small tutorial. I recently had a milestone birthday. That day, a saleswoman from a shop I frequent emailed me a birthday greeting. She mentioned my age in a way I found clumsy. Annoyed, I sent just a curt reply. To her credit, she sensed it: […]
Read MoreIs your team dysfunctional? 5 ways to tell â and what to do about it If you are the manager of a dysfunctional team, There is constant interpersonal drama instead of strategic work. Your team simply cannot deliver Your projects are delayed if not altogether failing. Paradoxically, your team members are individually gifted but their […]
Read MoreWhy feedback conversations feel like Groundhog Day. How many times has this happened to you? You sit down with a team member whose work just isnât meeting the mark. You want them to succeed. You might even really like them. But no matter how many times you talk⊠nothing changes. Now youâre living your Groundhog Day: the […]
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