How anger can build up your Relationship Wisdom

Harnessing your anger can help you access your Relationship Wisdom. Anger has a bad rap which I think is underserved. While there is obviously much truth to Ryan Holiday’s statement that there’s “no one stupider than an angry person”, I wish to tell you about how to use anger to combat Relationship Friction. In last […]

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Make up a reason to keep engaging even when Relationship Friction bites

Beat Relationship Friction by making up a reason not to disengage. When Relationship Friction bites, we typically have one of two immediate, instinctive reactions: Anger or withdrawal. This post focuses on withdrawal—that paralyzing feeling, the instinct to run, to disengage. For example, When an important conversation doesn’t work out, you freeze and become mute. When […]

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What your friendships teach you about Relationship Wisdom

How friendship can help you develop your Relationship Wisdom.  (I wrote this post to honour my best friend on this week of Thanksgiving in the US. Thank you N.) Often, when I say “Relationship Wisdom”, I get quizzical looks – or eye rolls or stunned looks. Relationship Wisdom is complex but it’s not complicated. After […]

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Taking responsibility is crucial to developing Relationship Wisdom

Relationship Wisdom in practice: taking appropriate responsibility is the hardest step. The other day, I was outlining a customised coaching journey for a prospective client burdened by Relationship Friction. She interrupted me: “It wasn’t my fault.” Until then, she had been smiling. Her body language had been relaxed and open. I saw her visibly tense. […]

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Relationship Wisdom in the Age of AI

Relationship Wisdom in the Age of AI? Here is why it matters now more than ever. The AI debate currently raging misses out on highlighting what AI cannot — in fact won’t be able to — do. And yet, what AI cannot do reveals our structural human advantage. Here is a quote I find particularly […]

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About practicing Relationship Wisdom every day

Relationship Wisdom isn’t as difficult as you think it is. Here is a small tutorial. I recently had a milestone birthday. That day, a saleswoman from a shop I frequent emailed me a birthday greeting. She mentioned my age in a way I found clumsy. Annoyed, I sent just a curt reply. To her credit, she sensed it: […]

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About the pain of relationship friction

The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is the epitome of Relationship Friction I hesitated to post about this: such a loaded and incredibly delicate topic. Let me make it clear: my intention with this post is NOT to make light of this war. My point is this: Relationship Friction is the root cause of conflict. It can take many forms. […]

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About managing versus coping

Employers ask you to manage. You also need to be able to cope. The difference between the two is crucial. Many of my clients face excessive workloads. Incessant demands impossible to plan for. Ever-rising business volumes without the right processes. In response, they are expected to manage. Managing is both cognitive and behavioural. It demands […]

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About team dysfunction

Is your team dysfunctional? 5 ways to tell – and what to do about it If you are the manager of a dysfunctional team, There is constant interpersonal drama instead of strategic work. Your team simply cannot deliver Your projects are delayed if not altogether failing. Paradoxically, your team members are individually gifted but their […]

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Paying attention: the secret to happiness (part 1)

Hello and welcome to this month’s neuro blog! Let’s see: where have we got to? Three articles in, we know about the three parts of the human brain (read about the triune brain) and the dominance of the unconscious. We also know that one of the main purposes of the human brain is sense-making (read again about what the brain is for). […]

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How we really make decisions

Hello and welcome to this month’s neuro blog! Are you enjoying the summer? I’m writing from the South of France and it’s just blissful! Today, I’d like to address decision-making. Remember that I posited in an early post that “there is no thinking which is not emotional which in turn implies that our decisions and behaviours are […]

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Really learning (part 3): meaning and chunking

Hello and welcome to this month’s neuro blog! In this third – and final – blog on the topic of facilitating learning, let me build on the positive implications of harnessing emotion and of maximising attention and engage you on the themes of meaning generation and chunking. At this stage of the game, I have […]

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