When You Delegate a Task as a First Time Manager, No Less Than the Future of Your Entire Team Is at Stake Last month, we looked at a defining moment in the career of a Direct Contributor: the moment when a manager entrusts them with a task or project. For the employee receiving the […]
Read MoreWhy the perfect candidate becomes your biggest headache three months later You validated their technical abilities. You got strong references. You enthusiastically welcomed them. And yet, bringing in new talent too often feels like playing ‘Hit or Miss’. Though you’ve recruited time and again, you still can’t predict who will last. By all means, validate […]
Read MoreRelationship Wisdom: The Antidote that Transforms Relationship Friction into Career Momentum There’s a particular kind of professional exhaustion that has nothing to do with workload. It shows up as dread before certain meetings, the weight of unresolved tensions, or that persistent sense that you’re working twice as hard for half the recognition. You deliver excellent […]
Read MoreYou think apologizing will make it better? Think again! Just recently, a client asked me to review an email to their manager. Two phrases stood out: “I hope you won’t think me forward.” And: “I trust this email won’t anger you.” At first glance? Respectful and even empathic. In reality… Those two sentences would damage […]
Read MoreRelationship Friction: The Hidden Force That Breaks Careers ‘Relationship Friction’ (RF) is one of those concepts people recognize immediately when it is named yet struggle to describe while they are living inside it. Among other things, it shows up as tension in meetings, second-guessing after conversations, resentment that quietly accumulates, or a persistent sense that […]
Read MoreFinally understand why your conversations with Millennials hit a wall. I often coach managers who struggle with their Gen Y / Millennial team members. This classic case of Relationship Friction seems a near-universal pain point in professional life right now. It’s exhausting for everyone. My diagnostic: my clients’s professional whys do not align with their […]
Read MoreHarnessing your anger can help you access your Relationship Wisdom. Anger has a bad rap which I think is underserved. While there is obviously much truth to Ryan Holiday’s statement that there’s “no one stupider than an angry person”, I wish to tell you about how to use anger to combat Relationship Friction. In last […]
Read MoreBeat Relationship Friction by making up a reason not to disengage. When Relationship Friction bites, we typically have one of two immediate, instinctive reactions: Anger or withdrawal. This post focuses on withdrawal—that paralyzing feeling, the instinct to run, to disengage. For example, When an important conversation doesn’t work out, you freeze and become mute. When […]
Read MoreHow friendship can help you develop your Relationship Wisdom. (I wrote this post to honour my best friend on this week of Thanksgiving in the US. Thank you N.) Often, when I say “Relationship Wisdom”, I get quizzical looks – or eye rolls or stunned looks. Relationship Wisdom is complex but it’s not complicated. After […]
Read MoreRelationship Wisdom in practice: taking appropriate responsibility is the hardest step. The other day, I was outlining a customised coaching journey for a prospective client burdened by Relationship Friction. She interrupted me: “It wasn’t my fault.” Until then, she had been smiling. Her body language had been relaxed and open. I saw her visibly tense. […]
Read MoreRelationship Wisdom in the Age of AI? Here is why it matters now more than ever. The AI debate currently raging misses out on highlighting what AI cannot — in fact won’t be able to — do. And yet, what AI cannot do reveals our structural human advantage. Here is a quote I find particularly […]
Read MoreRelationship Wisdom isn’t as difficult as you think it is. Here is a small tutorial. I recently had a milestone birthday. That day, a saleswoman from a shop I frequent emailed me a birthday greeting. She mentioned my age in a way I found clumsy. Annoyed, I sent just a curt reply. To her credit, she sensed it: […]
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